cheaper by the dozen csi style
by Kayla and Sara
Summary: Gil and Catherine Grissom had it all a car, a house and twelve kids needless to say they have their ups and downs but seriously what family doesn't...r&r plz...
1. Chapter 1

__

Cheaper by the Dozen – CSI Style

A/N – This story that the lovely Sara Matthews thought up and I'm helping with is our own take on the film Cheaper by Dozen where Catherine and Gil are the parents and our favourite CSI's are the children, with some added in to make it twelve. Well enough of my rambling I now allow you to read our story.

Gil and Catherine Grissom have everything a house, a car, twelve kids and all the headaches and heartache that came along with it.

We start this story on no ordinary day or on any ordinary year, Gil Grissom was running, running and remembering certain things about his family and boy what a family it is. Twelve kids aged twenty-two to four years and no one loved more than the other from his oldest Brooklyn to his youngest Madeline.

What a family, wife twelve beautiful kids. Brooklyn my first, so much like her mother tall blond and blue eyes. I fainted when Catherine told me I was going to be a father and I never regretted any of it, from Brooklyn to our four year old twin's daughters Kayleigh and Madeline.

"Hey Gil" Tom the Grocer shouts

I simply nod my head and continue on my run eventually arriving at our home, it's not fancy but it will do, I enter the house to find my wife of twenty-three years sitting on her bed side chair reading over case files.

"Hey good run?" Catherine asks

"Oh yeah" I reply falling down into our other chair and let out a sigh

"You need a paramedic?" Catherine ask smiling

"No just a new pair of knees" I reply "you finish?"

"Slightly" Catherine replies "do you know how hard it is to look after lots of kids and still try to do _your_ paperwork?"

"Yes dear" I reply looking at our bed with a very large lump there

"hey baby?

"Baby?" Catherine replied looking confused "You haven't called me that in a long while"

"You know, on the run, you know what I was thinking?" Gil asked

"Well no not unless I've become a telepath" I reply sarcastically

"ok what?"

"Well we have been married, what five years?" I ask already knowing the answer

"Twenty-three Gil" Catherine replies shocked

"Twenty-three" I repeat "Sorry and I think we could have a little change around here"

Gil walks over to our bed and sits down our bed mysteriously giggles and I have to keep a straight face.

"Like, this lumpy old mattress" Gil says "maybe we should just, you know get rid of it"

There it goes again our bed giggles; I hope I'm not going mad.

"Don't be ridiculous honey" I say keeping a straight face "you know you can just pound the lumps out of a mattress"

"What really?" I ask "care to explain how to remove said lump from mattress"

I smile again as our bed giggles and then I move my hands above my head and explain to my husband how to move the lumps.

"You know, just randomly start swatting" I explain "that should do it"

My husband lays back on the bed and swats the lumps my children come from underneath the covers, fourteen year old Nick, thirteen year old Archie, nine year old Daniel, seven year old twins Greg and Sara and four year old twins Kayleigh and Madeline. Gil looks like he's getting ganged up on and well I need him to help him with our brood so I intervene.

"Careful" I shout

"I got a dog on me" exclaims Gil from somewhere in the pile

"It's ok Daddy Bruno's only saying hello" Sara remarks "you will be fine"

I can't help but smile at Sara's remark; she's only seven years old but a book worm and really into Science makes me happy when I see her trying to figure her homework out.

Maybe I should tell you now I came to marry Gil and end up with twelve kids, so here goes.

I first met Gil outside our Science class, I was carrying to many books and they fell to the floor, Gil was such a gentleman and carried them the rest of the day for me. We became close friends. We went to University together and studying to become Forensic Scientists, we at some point got into the conversation of babies and Gil confessed he wanted a big family as did I. So twenty-three years later and we have twelve, yes twelve kids.

Here are my kids in order of age:

Brooklyn Faith Grissom – Twenty-two

Warrick Xavier Grissom – Twenty

Joshua Eric Grissom – Eighteen

Sofia Isabelle Grissom – Sixteen

Charlotte Grace Grissom –Fifteen

Nicholas 'Nick' Jonathan Grissom – Fourteen

Archie Harry Grissom – Thirteen

Daniel Trenton Grissom – Nine

Greg Jaylen and Sara Elise Grissom – Seven

And last but no means least

Kayleigh Louise and Madeline Marie Grissom – Four

When we got married we only had family, well what family we had left at the wedding oh and not forgetting Lance Phillips, Gil's best friend and royal pain in the ass, god what a hot dog.

A year into our marriage we had our first Brooklyn and I loved taking her to work with me at San Francisco Crime lab everyone was really good with her. Two years after Brooklyn arrived we had Warrick and then two years after Warrick we had Joshua and that's when we decided that having a big family and living in San Francisco wasn't best for our plans, so we moved to Las Vegas still can't quite understand that move but it worked out better.

When we got to Vegas we got busy, we had Sofia, Charlotte, Nick and Archie in consecutive years, Three years later we had Daniel and then we got our first set of twins Sara and Greg.

Three years later and having too much drink at the lab party, nine months later we had our second set of twins Kayleigh and Madeline making our number up to twelve and by then Gil and I were experts at managing chaos.

Mornings are always a problem twelve kids, two adults and one dog attempting to get ready all at the same time and we only have one bathroom, the majority of the kids are washed dressed and waiting for breakfast but it always seems that Sofia and Charlotte are constantly fighting about their usage of the bathroom.

BANG, BANG

"you can only put so much makeup on Princess" Charlotte shouts pounding on the door.

"You blew my concentration Charly." I hear Sofia reply

"Ahhh your such a…" Charlotte screams

"Temper Charlotte." Gil shouts

"Sofia times up."

"Ok Daddy" Sofia replies.

"Daddy have you seen Fester my frog?" Sara asked her dad.

"No I haven't ummm….Charly, I mean Kayleigh no wait Madeline." Gil answered his daughter. 

"It's Sara daddy," Sara told her dad as she walked away.

"I new that." Gil said as he went to his second to oldest son Joshua. 

"Hey teenager you got caught on mom's radar last night your not gonna get that scholarship if your out late with Beth the night before a big game." Gil said as he walked in his son's room. 

"Well I'm not even sure if I even want to go to college now." Josh told his dad.

"Since when?" Gil asked him.

"Since Beth's mom offered me a job at the auto shop."

"Hmm…sounds interesting, well we'll talk about that after you get your full ride, and in the mean time be in by 11:30pm on school nights, clear?"

"Got it."

"Anything else you want to talk about?"

"Did I mention I don't like you very much?"

"Yea, you mentioned that."

"Then I'm good."

"Yea me too."

"Dude two words: new skates." Daniel said as he walked by his mom.

"Dude three words: Paper route," Catherine told her son as she opened up her email on the computer, and read, "Hi can't make dinner, Hank and I are moving into our apartment, love Brooklyn."

"Have you seen Fester mommy?" Sara asked her mom hoping her mom had seen her frog.

"Hmm-mmm, no hun I haven't," Catherine told her daughter.

Ok breakfast what a chore, at least the kids helped prepare, Joshua and Gil preparing the eggs, Nick, Greg and Archie making the sandwiches, Charlotte and Daniel butterinf toast oh and Kayleigh and Madeline feeding Bruno.

"You hungry Bruno?" Madeline asked Bruno "yummy food"

"Look l am totally aware that this family doesn't value self-presentation in the sameobsessive way that l do" Sofia announces walking into the kitchen

"Fine whatever, but one of my life goals aside from being, like a fashion guru is to indicate to the local community that the Grissom family actually owns a bar of soap"

Gil just nods his head at his daughters ranting and continues cooking the eggs.

"So as self appointed in house rep of style and hygiene" Sofia continues "I think i should be allowed at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror"

"You can have three extra minutes" Gil replies "no go help your sister and brother butter the toast"

Sofia walks over to Charlotte and Daniel and helps them butter the toast Catherine walks in and starts speaking to some of her children.

"Charlotte your ban from Gymnastics has been lifted so your going to today, Nick you have football practise and don't leave your dirty kit in the car for three days again" Catherine remarked sighing at the thought "Archie your teacher called and requested you don't correct her in front of the class, Greg you have show and tell and body parts do not count, Kayleigh and Madeline you have a Dentist appoinment at 3pm so your going to work with dad"

Both little girls run up to their daddy and hug his legs, Gil pats them on the head and they head towards the kitchen table.

"And we are shooting our Christmas card today" Gil reminds all

"what time is Brooklyn coming over?"

"Uh she might not make it" Catherine replies

"She hardly comes around now she's dating that doorknob" Charlotte exclaims

"He's not a doorknob Charly" Catherine replies

"The guy irons his jeans mom" Daniel remarks

"Yeah that's weird" replied Catherine

"Don't worry about it i'll photoshop her in" Gil shouts from the stove

"Dad can i be photoshopped in?" Sofia asks

"Hey if Sofia gets photoshopped in so can i" Charlotte remarks

"Nobody gets photoshopped but Brooklyn" Gil answers

"Hey honey do you think you can take 100 pounds of me" Catherine asks "and i don't mean from my purse"

"No honey, now everyone lets eat" Gil shouts carrying the eggs to the table

Sara walks into the kitchen in search of Fester the Frog and looks up to the light above the kitchen table she starts to move her net to above the light when Gil looks up and shouts at his daughter.

"No Sara" Gil shouts as Fester jumps into the eggs sending them flying "get him"

Everyone attempts to catch Fester but without success in jumos onto the counter where all the lunches are and sends them flying to the floor, Catheine grabs Daniel's hockey stick while Gil grabs the net from Sara, Gil catches Fester and turns around to face his seven year old daughter.

"Put Fester in his cage now" Gil says calmly

Sara turns around and knocks cups and glasses flying breaking every single one, she slightly turns to face her mother and father and was about to leave the room when Charlotte spoke.

"Nice move Fed Ex" Charlotte snarls "just perfect"

Sara walks out the room upset and everyone cleans up the mess, change and head to school, Catherine waves everyone off and realise Sara is stood behind her.

"All right what's going on with you missy?" Catherine asks

"Everyone says the Fed Ex guy dropped me off because i don't fit in with this family" Sara replies with tears in her eyes

"Aww sweety you fit right here" Catherine replies pulling Sara into a hug "see just like that"

"I call shotgun" Madeline screams

"No way i'm older" Kayleigh screams back

"Yeah by three minutes" Madeline shouts back

"Hey you two knock it off" Catherine replies running to her four year old daughters hey i'm losing it, i'll give you candy"

"Kayleigh, Madeline chill or be chilled" Gil shouts from the front porch

"Yeah listen to him" sighs Catherine when her daughters walk up the family car "Sara? Oh"

"So Brooklyn isn't coming?" Gil asks "why?"

"Moving into her new apartment with Hank" Catherine replies

"Great with that" Gil said "yeah ok don't call him names, but she's still my little girl"

"She's twenty-two the same as i was when i was pregnant with her" Catherine said

"Yeah and i blinked" Gil replied "no more blinking"

Gil starts to walk away and can feel his wifes eyes on his back he turns back around to find Catherine was indeed staring at him.

"You were checking me out weren't you?" Gil asks

"Yes i was, you got a problem with that?" Catheine asks grinning

"Twelve kids later and we still have the heat" Gil remarks shaking his body to and frow

"Wohoo" Catherine bellows turning around and shaking her butt at her husband and walking into the house to finish her case notes and tidy the house.


	2. Chapter 2

Cheaper by the dozen csi style chp 2

Gil sat in his office minding his own business watching his youngest daughters playing with his tarantula and giggled when the tarantula crawled on their arms. Everything was going well until Conrad Ecklie ran into the room.

"Grissom!" Ecklie shouted.

"Hey girls remember Ecklie?" Grissom asked his daughters.

"Yea, the wiener," Kayleigh and Madeline answered their father.

"Mommy said it first," Madeline told her dad innocently when her dad glared at his two youngest.

"We're having adult time here girls , now Grissom, as I was saying…" Ecklie started till the girls interrupted him.

"We have no idea what that means. They both said innocently.

"Well, its this crazy thing where grown-ups talk with out kids interrupting," Grissom told his daughters.

"Sounds WICKEDLY boring," Kayleigh said.

"It is," Grissom told the girls.

"So why don't you run along now," Ecklie said getting annoyed of the girls.

"Mommy's right, he IS a wiener," Madeline whispered to her sister as they went to go look for Greg.

"Any ways as I was saying, Grissom, you have outstanding paper work yet again."

"If you LOOK, it actually says Mrs. Catherine Grissom," Gil replies, "So unfortunately its not my matter to attend to, good day Conrad."

Ecklie stares at Grissom for a few minutes before walking out the door, avd back to his office leaving Gil by himself with the girls.

At home downstairs in the basement/laundry room

"So you goin' to tell me why we're down here?" Catherine asked her husband.

"Okay, hold on," Gil said turning the old washer & dryer on.

Upstairs

Nick, Daniel, and Greg were upstairs trying to see what their parents were saying, when they heard the machines turn on.

"TO THE CHUTE!" Daniel said as they walked, well more like ran, to the chute.

Downstairs

"Man this must be big," Catherine said.

"Yea, it is, what do you think about moving?" Grissom asked Catherine.

"You have GOT to be kidding me," Catherine said.

"No, I'm not, I'm actually going to be the nightshift supervisor," Grissom told Catherine.

"We should talk to the kids about this," Catherine told him.

Upstairs

"So what's happenin'?" Nick asked as he and Daniel pulled Greg up.

"We're moving," Greg told his brothers.

800808080808080808080808080808080808080808080808080808080808080808080

Outside

While Grissom gets everyone settled on the porch to take a picture, he heard his four youngest yell something and tried to get them back where they were.

"Warrick, Warrick!" All four kids yelled.

"Hey, kiddo's," Warrick said giving each of his four youngest siblings a hug, and picking up his seven year old sister.

"Okay, guys come on we have a picture to take," Warrick heard his dad as he carried his seven year old sister Sara over by the rest of the kids.

"Hey dad," Warrick said setting his sister down.

"Warrick, its about time you got here," Grissom told his oldest son.

"Yea, sorry about that, got stuck behind traffic on the way here," Warrick told his dad while he went and sat down with his other siblings.

"Okay everybody you know the drill, on three, you have to give me a big cheese," Grissom told everyone.

"Archie, do you have to ear black?" Catherine asked her 12 year old son.

"Black works mom, Jesus, like has his funeral on Christmas." Sophia said to her mom.

"He died on Easter Barbie," Charly told Sophia.

"Whatever," Sophia said.

"He was resurrected on Easter moron," Archie said.

"Be quiet," Nick said.

"Don't touch me!" Charly practically yelled.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's all the fighting about?" Grissom asked trying to get all the kids to stop fighting.

"Exactly when were you planning on telling us about moving?" Nick asked.

"I'm not moving!" Daniel said.

"Yea, because, I'm not moving, alright?" Charly said not really asking.

"I'm DEFFENATELY not moving," Josh said.

"Josh, Las Vegas is only a twenty minute drive from Henderson," Grissom told his son.

"Beth can come visit," Catherine told her son.

"This isn't just about Beth mom, my WHOLE life is here n Henderson." Josh told his mom his mom as he went inside following his siblings.

Inside

While everyone is inside sitting on the couch getting ready to talk about the move, the phone rings, Catherine reaches over and picks up the phone.

"Hello?" Catherine answered.

"Hi mom," the person on the other end answered.

"Hi, Brooklyn, your on speaker," Catherine said as she put the phone on speaker.

"Hi everybody," Brooklyn said, "Hank says hi too, so you guys thinking about moving up here?" Brooklyn asked.

"Yea, you got room in that new apartment for your big old family?" Grissom asked his oldest daughter.

"Just enough for two dad, so how's work going mom?" Brooklyn asked her mom.

"Could we stay on subject please?" Charlotte asked.

"Fester's mother is buried here, I'm not splitting them up, their family," Sara said while sitting on Warrick's lap and leaning into him a little.

"We could build a fancy new Memorial to Pork in our new yard," Gil told his daughter.

"Yea, like we could afford that," Charly said.

"Actually we can, I'll be making enough money to do that, get you out of hand me downs," Grissom said looking at Sophia then continued, "Get Daniel those new skates, and that new car we've been saving for."

"But I have friends here," Greg said.

"Honey you can keep in touch, and you'll make new friends." Catherine told her seven year old son.

"Quiet!," Grissom said then continued after everyone settled down, "Now look, I know your all scared, moving is a big deal, we're very comfortable here, I get that. That's why I turned down a lot of the promotions through all these years, but I finally think its about time I take it." Grissom explained to his kids.

"And besides, I promise we'll be a happier and stronger family," Grissom added.

"You promise?" Sara asked her dad.

"I promise," Grissom replied to his daughter.

"I would feel happier and stronger if we vote on it," Nick said.

"Yea definitely," Archie agreed.

"We should vote," Sophia said.

"That's the only way to make it fair, it's the only way to do it," Charlotte said.

"Alright, we can vote, but in the end your mother and I are gonna do what we think is best for the family," Grissom told his kids.

"What's the point in voting?" Charly asked.

"Lets get out of here its not even worth it," Josh said as he got up and left with some of his siblings following behind him.

"Hello still here," Brooklyn said after all the talking was over.

80808080808080800800080808080808080808080808080808

Later that night

"Alright, eight no's, three yes's and three maybes," Grissom said as we counted up all the votes.

"Not exactly a mandate," Catherine told her husband.

"Give me a pen, I'm gonna change some of these," Grissom said.

"So we're doing this?" Catherine asked.

"We're doing this," Grissom confirmed.

"Yeah, and by the time we move, the kids will get used to the idea," Catherine said.

808080808080808080808080808080808080808080808008080808080808080

Next day

"Say good bye to your mother Fester," Sara said as she held her frog, then turned around when she felt some one come up behind her.

"What ya doing all alone over here kiddo?" That some one asked as they got down to Sara's level.

"Hi Warrick, I'm letting fester say good bye to his mom. Are you going to be leaving again Warrick?" Sara asked her older brother.

"I will be, but not for a while, but I'll have to leave n a week or two," Warrick told his little sister.

"I don't want you to Warrick, I wish you were home more often, I like it when your home, everyone's always mean to me, especially Charly," Sara told her brother has she started to cry.

"Awe, kiddo, I'll try to be home more often, now that you guys will be closer, and I'm sure they don't mean it." Warrick told her.

"Good, I hope you do, I miss you when your not around," Sara told her brother as she gave him a hug.

"Yea, I miss you too kiddo, come on we should go help mom and dad, alright?" Warrick said picking his sister up.

"Yea, ok," Sara said as she wrapped her arms around her brothers neck.

When they went to go see what their parents wanted to be done, Warrick could hear his dad trying to get Bruno into the car.

"Bruno, in the car," Grissom said trying to get the dog to get into the vehicle.

After Grissom gets Bruno into the vehicle he goes over to Josh and says, "Josh you can drive the cutlass,"

"Thanks for ruining my life," Josh said as he took the keys and walked away.

Back at the van, Catherine is trying to get the two four year olds into their car seat, while each of there were kicking and screaming.

"I don't want to move!" Both girls yelled while kicking their feet.

"You know what everybody is going with us, we're taking all your toys. Okay well who says that expressing emotion is a good thing," Catherine said trying to get the girls to calm down.

tbc..

a/n: well here's chp 2 sorry it took sooooooo long to update hope ya like it plz leave a review they r GREATLY appreciated!!

Kayla & Sara


	3. Chapter 3

Cheaper by the dozen chp 3

a/n: hey hope you guys like! workin' on the next chp later

sara

p.s. Plz review they will b greatly apprectiated!!

* * *

A half hour later…

Grissom finally pulled up onto their street and while they were looking for their house a car pulls up next to their vehicle, and Charlotte says,

"Are you sure we're gonna fit in here, Dad?" Charlotte asked.

"You'll have friends here in no time," Grissom answered his daughter.

Once they pulled up the street they found their house on the corner, and Grissom pulled up and parked the van, and got out and told the kids to get out.

"Alright, here we are, everybody out," Grissom said as he got out and opened the doors.

When they all got out Catherine saw Bruno run out of the van, "Hey Bruno slow down will ya?"

Inside

"Hey Archie come check this place out!" Nick called to Archie on his way inside.

"Alright everyone gets their own rooms, except your mother and I get the master bedroom," Grissom said as all the kids ran inside to go pick out their bedroom.

Grissom saw Josh walking slowly to go inside the house and called towards him, "Hey Josh, you're gonna need a car to go visit Beth."

"You trying to bribe me," Josh asked his dad.

"Is it working?" Grissom asked him.

"A little bit," Josh answered as he went towards the car.

"Welcome home Cath," Grissom said after watching his son drive off.

"Its gonna be great Gil," Catherine said wrapping her arm around her husband as they walked in the house.

Upstairs

"Hey Daniel come check this out!" Archie hollered to his brother.

_"Man, this room is huge!" _ Some one in the background said.

Sara was walking upstairs in the hallway and went to go look at a room, when charlotte came out of the room she was in.

"Whoa-oh, where are you goin, back up FedEx." Charlotte said then continued, "If anyone gets this room across from me it's goin' to be Sofia, and are you Sofia? I don't think so."

After watching Charlotte go back into the room, Sara walked around and noticed that almost all the rooms were taken; she noticed a door that was closed and walked over to it to open it. When she opened it she saw some stairs that let up to somewhere, she walked up the stairs, and she set her stuff down on the bed.

"Well, here we are Fester," Sara told her frog as she picked it up and sat on her bed.

Downstairs

"Hey Hun, I have to get to work, I'm gonna be a little late, I'll call you when I get home," Grissom told his wife as he got ready for work.

"Come on, whatever happened to that stud?" Catherine asked flirting with her husband then continued, "The one that used to sit across from the table?"

"He got his dream job," Grissom told his wife pulling her into his arms.

A few minutes later, Grissom let go of his wife and said goodbye and walked out the bedroom door.

Upstairs

After Sara got her stuff all unpacked and put away, she saw a little door in the wall and opened it, she looked at her frog held on tight as she slid down the little chute that led to the outside.

When she got to the outside she saw her dad and stood up, "Bye daddy!"

"Bye hun," Grissom said with out turning around.

Later on that night

Everyone was in the living room watching T.V. when their movie was over Catherine told her kids to go on to bed.

"Alright kiddo's its time for bed come on lets go," Catherine said trying to get the kids up and off to bed, she looked at the younger four who were sound asleep, and went to go wake them up when Warrick told her he would go put them to bed.

"Here, I'll go put them to bed for ya," Warrick told her as he picked up Greg and took him to his room.

"Thanks Warrick," Catherine told her son as she started to straighten up the living room.

After Warrick put Greg, Kayleigh, and Madeline to bed he came back and picked up Sara.

When he picked her up she started to stir, and she opened her eyes a little bit.

"Warrick?" Sara asked.

"Hey, its ok go back to sleep, I'm just putting you to bed," Warrick said calming his sister.

Watching his sister fall back asleep he walked back the rest of the way and put her to bed after making sure she was ok, he then walked back downstairs and to the guest bedroom where he was staying whenever he came home from school.


End file.
